Losing my religion... partie trois

I've stated part of my ground earlier. I've given y'all context. But now it's time to realize that not all who wander are lost... just experiencing what they can, while they can... and finding themselves in the process.

Manifesto, Pt. 2: What I do believe

Coming to terms with the inherent tentative, limited nature of living and inevitably of death, of nothingness, is NOT defeatist, nor nihilistic. Rather, it should be seen as motivation to live life to the fullest... to love, to do good, to be the best version of yourself you can be, to strive to be better. But also, to face obstacles, to lose a few instead of winning them all, to mourn losses, to be sad, to lick wounds... to then figure out what to do on the other side of obstacles, failures, and sadness. We have one shot, one trip, to do what we can with what we have. We should strive to do it, not just for ourselves, but also for others, be they family, friends, or strangers... even the natural world itself. We should need no supernatural or divine motivation... just the internal drive to be the best human possible... no need to be perfect, just worthy of the appreciation of ourselves and others... without narcissism.

Truth(s)

There are other "truths", things that seem inevitable as part (positively and potentially negatively) of our human existence, though they are not as absolute as death. As humans, we require physical and mental sustenance for growth, even as we march toward death... but, we desire to grow positively, for ourselves and others. I do believe that there are other polar constructs integral to our existence... like love-hate or good-evil or right-wrong... but most of us experience them somewhere along a spectrum... like the gradients of grey between black and white. The only truly absolute truths we universally experience are... birth and death. The spectrum between those comprises our messy lives.

Love

Love can be a truth, but we've seen existence without love... and it is truly miserable. Love can be fulfilling and motivating... but it can also turn toxic and destructive if not carefully tended. Love is hard work, but worth it. It can be freely given and denied. It can be easy or hard fought (but should never, ever be coerced) It can change over time... weakening, strengthening, or evolving into something new. Love takes all kinds of forms... even the Greeks knew that so long ago (the fucking Christians stole the parts they liked best and warped it for their own means). And if people of different or same gender identities and/or ethnicity (or any other possible human permutation) want to experience personal romantic love with each other and physically manifest that, so be it... and all should celebrate it! When we start setting arbitrary rules for love (but c'mon, pedophilia and necrophilia are always wrong. Full stop. Kinks are sexual and not about love... a whole other discussion) we've already failed understanding what love is or can be, and the power of it. Hate, in its many forms, is a truth, not a positive one, but not necessarily an inevitability. And hate is easier than love... giving in to our worst impulses (disdain, mockery, disrespect, degradation, prejudice...) leading to the destruction of ourselves and those it is wielded against. You can put a lot of energy and work into hate... but it is wasted. Being passionate is good, but being passionately hateful is a dumbass oxymoron. And while it is quaint to say, "I'd rather have someone hate me than be indifferent", I now believe that's bullshit. Indifference can be due to a lack of knowledge or familiarity, or a lack of will to engage and understand, but it is nowhere near as detrimental to one's psyche, one's very being, as hate. I don't have to love everyone, but I don't have to make a concerted effort to hate them, either. I can disapprove, be disappointed, but also lack malice, as that malice only feeds what others may ignorantly exhibit themselves. This concept of "love thy neighbor" is familiar to almost all of us, as it is taught as a tenant of most religious traditions, but I would argue that it is not exclusive to religion, just a codification of a truly humanistic positive value we all owe each other and ourselves, even outside theism. And I'm not saying it is easy to do, with or without religious context, it's just necessary for human life to be bearable, enjoyable, and persistent beyond our individual mortality. Because we're human, we have the capacity to fail, but also to be redeemed if we recognize our transgressions and make the effort to truly change for the better. Even in my current pessimism, I believe in the POTENTIAL of humans to be good for the sake of self and others. I can have faith in love of all kinds, in relationships of all kinds. I can have that faith tested and broken, only to be mended... over and over. I believe at their best, humans care be kind, empathetic, sincere, and caring, without need to please some invisible overlord(s).

Good/Evil

I believe that we frame good/evil in terms of our expectations, our positions, our desires. collectively or individually. Too many times, like the things we are experiencing firsthand today, an individual or hive of stooges will believe that their ethos and actions are "good" when they are so easily seen as harmful, destructive, dehumanizing... as "evil"... to all those NOT part of their cadre and subject to their actions. While good/evil is a spectrum that is constantly negotiated and shifting due to so many pressures of human failures and aspirations, multitudes of experiences and ever-shifting knowledge, we do recognize, we should recognize, a general collective understanding as basic human beings, that there are these two poles, but that we are all responsible for helping each other recognize them and do the best we can to gravitate toward good, even if we make mistakes... we just need to acknowledge those mistakes, take responsibility, ATONE, and move forward.

***Exception... Nazis and their similar fascist ilk... if it sounds like a Nazi, it smells like a Nazi, and walks like a Nazi... it's a Nazi... regardless of nationality, nom-de-plume, or time period... Nazis are ALWAYS evil, full stop. Hitler was WRONG. Those who willing followed him and his ideals, WRONG. Go pound sand. You want redemption as a human from your fellow humans? Grow the fuck up and quit being a fucking Nazi/fascist.***

Violence

Counteracting "evil", either in its nascent formulation or implementation, requires constant interaction among humans... interactions that support love, respect, peace, reason, empathy, sympathy, care, and knowledge among a slew of other positive actions and virtues. While I am a pacifist (imperfect), it is important to stand up to evil, to the capricious and harmful whims of megalomania incarnate. I abhor war but our tools to battle such destructive forces are sadly self-limited. Every time we try to use God/faith, some "moral code" to justify the equally damaging response, we stumble and end up failing humanity as well... maybe not equally, but fail, nonetheless. Instead, we need to find a way to be more human to each other... to talk, to act... with compassion, with empathy, with hope... to prevent the evil from occurring in the first place, nipping it in the bud before it grows to be so poorly managed. This is true at individual and collective levels of all sizes and types. Like love, it's not easy, but usually clear for the reasonable ones to see the benefit of not going down the dark path.

The Value of Life

I believe that humanity and life IS precious, by its very nature of being so finite (but DO NOT confuse that with being anti-abortionist... women should personally have all say and control over their own bodies and reproductive rights mutherfucker, without obstacle or coercion, with full support from everyone else, full stop). When we talk about being "pro-life" we need to be realistic... and open... and far less solipsistic. We should value life when it does exist (after birth, see note above... and don't get me started on the complexities of end-of-life care) and not be so smug to think we have the right, the moral authority, to decide if and when it should be taken involuntarily from someone else. Capital punishment, justifiable homicide, law enforcement, lethal self-defense... all are contrivances we concoct to justify a gruesome shortcut to a ghastly solution. We should strive to resolve conflicts with reason, debate, and compassion... a more human solution. We should strive against violence toward each other, even if organized for "sport", to curb our worst tendencies, to nurture, not destroy (I fucking loathe MMA... it's barbaric and antithetical to basic human respect). We should excel at competition that elevates all, not at the expense of the physical and mental health of the participants. Again, not easy, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try... and try... and try. We are not perfect, but we can strive to be better.

Legacy

I believe that what we do now, without promise of reward or punishment in some other realm, is most important... that how we live with each other, for each other, matters more than anything. "Heaven" or "Hell" are not ours as individuals, or non-existent deities, to decide, but a decision for those that survive us. That is, our legacies, what and who we leave behind, determine our perpetual 'goodness' or 'badness', in their minds, on their lips, from their words... in history's pages. Do lots of shitty things to people and your legacy in the minds of so many others is shit... people will then "damn you to Hell" (well, the memory of you, at least). Do lots of good things to people and your legacy in the minds of so many others is admirable, even aspiring, if not glorious... people will then be pleased to "know you're in Heaven". The overwhelming majority of us fall somewhere along the spectrum between the two poles of good/evil (see above). We all have our ups and downs in life, our moments of good, our deeds of failure. We will be kinder to some than others. We will slight some, even if not intentionally. We will be too self-absorbed to see how our actions or words negatively impact others. Sometimes, we're not self-aware enough to know how what we are doing at that moment that may be judged by others... although failures should be self-evident.

The moment we individually cease to exist, it only matters to the living. Fading into nothingness scares the crap out of most everyone... and that's a reasonable fear. That and trying to explain what we don't know about the complexities of the natural world are why we have religions, faith traditions, mythologies, pantheons... we think there has to be something guiding all this, making arbitrary, capricious rules, a "place" after this mortal coil... because we refuse to accept our frail, finite mortality. Until we cast this fear off and the silly contrivances, we will continue to suffer as a species.

Epilogue

Whew... that's a lot (I know... but when am I ever at a loss for words 🤣). But creating something positive should take at least as much effort as destroying something else... shouldn't it?

I am fully self-aware that this is a lot of "pontification" (the irony is not lost on me, I'm not that fucking stupid). And I'm not so narcissistic to think I adhere to all these beliefs and values with perfection... I'm human, inherently imperfect. There are times when I can fail, look/sounds like a hypocrite... but at least I am self-aware enough to know it and be shameful when it happens. But this is where I stand... and I don't believe I'm alone. And I didn't just get here, even given my recent sorry circumstances. It's been a long journey, an evolution, with all its imperfections, outright mistakes, and hard-learned affirmations.

This is my truth. Take it or leave it. Now you know why I am the way I am... why I do what I do... mostly... why my voice is what it is. Maybe it doesn't answer ALL questions, even for myself... but at least I have a known benchmark to start from... to find the rest of the way.

Le fin? Je ne sais pas...