Losing my religion... partie un

I'm going to be frank... maybe too much for some, but I'm being honest.

Manifesto, Pt. 1: What I don't believe

I'm a born-again atheist... a "heathen" to the obnoxiously pious... not agnostic, not pagan, not "spiritual". I am beyond skeptical. I am not a "doubting Thomas". I am an intelligent, reasoning (mostly?), rational human being... imperfect, at times impertinent, but striving to be better in so many ways at doing so many different things. I love. I hate. I care. I ignore. I transgress. I absolve. I rise. I fall. I eat. I drink. I fuck. I watch. I read. I speak. I listen. I yell. I ignore. I celebrate. I suffer. I desire. I wretch. I believe (in many other things). I doubt. I think... about all of it... now more than ever.

I don't believe in a supernatural, eternal, omnipresent, omniscient God... or Satan. I don't believe in ANY gods/goddesses/deities/demons/angels/etc. I don't believe in a Heaven, an eternal Paradise... or a Hell, an eternal Damnation (though there are many times I wish some people were perpetually damned to such a place) or ANY notions of an afterlife... or reincarnation to try it again... and again... and again... until Nirvana. I don't believe in supernatural creation mythologies... any of them. I don't believe that gods exist without Man... they are a construct of Man's desire to explain things... hope for things... beyond themselves.

I don't believe in a supernatural embodiment of good or of evil, that good or evil are anything other than human, subjective constructs... but not purely relative or individualistic. Nothing is at fault for evil upon man other than man itself, sinking to its worst depravities by forgoing empathy and mutual respect.

I don't believe in fate, a "cosmic plan", "God's Plan", or any such deterministic nonsense. There are many cosmic, biological, social, economic, and political forces and patterns, and ways to break them... some within our control, but so many others beyond our control... which shape our existence from beginning to end. We are subjects of ever-shifting probabilities, which morph with our own actions and those outside of ourselves, both big and small. Some paths, without any intervention, may seem inevitable... but that is only if you are not aware or have completely surrendered your power to alter it. Only one thing is certain in life... you will die.

The notion of a soul? Inconsequential. If we have one, then it evaporates when we die... maybe energy-to-energy like our bodies' dust-to-dust analogy. We are all thinking beings, like many other creatures that we call inferior (Why are we so arrogant to think Man is the only creature to have a "soul"... or to love, to feel, to mourn, to celebrate, to reason?), that strive for so many things but are bound by the limits of our biological vessels. We do what we do (or don't) and then, we cease to exist.

I laugh at/cringe from/mock others (typically crazy evangelical protestants so far removed from the original church... and sanity) who twist the Bible into "the direct, infallible Word of God", not the highly edited anthology (guys, look up the history of the Bible... from legitimate scholarly sources, not from any evangelical crackpots!) of oral stories committed to paper, shaped by ancient socioeconomic, cultural, and political factors, it really is. Some parts of it are entertaining reads... other parts just dreadful... but mostly historical fiction or generously over-dramatized neo-historicism (I am NOT alone in understanding THAT truth)... and a bit of poetry. Throughout human history, there have been many such oral and textual mythologies, and sadly there may be others in the future (should humanity survive its current crises). I have no need for the Torah, the Quran, the Shruti or Smriti, or vast array of Buddhist texts... they are interesting purely from intellectual, cultural, and artistic points of view. All have some nuggets of human truth in them that do not require "the Divine"... yet none have "the Truth".

I don't believe in prayer. Specifically, I don't believe that prayer is effective in doing ANYTHING other than to satiate the mind of the person praying. There is no "direct communication" with the non-existent supernatural forces. You can't pray desired results into being. Your "thoughts and prayers" do nothing for the subject you are aiming at... only active kindness (in so many forms) does. Meditation/mindfulness and prayer are not the same thing.

Miracles? Again, another no-go. Funny how ALL 'miracles' are anecdotal, completely subjective and when investigated further, most often not adding up to defying physics or the natural sciences once you unravel their illogical contrivances. Some things that appear "miraculous" are usually products of being the outliers, but NOT impossibilities, of statistical probability. Maybe I'm being assertively callous... fine... but don't insult my intelligence... or the laws of nature. Miracles are an extension of supernatural belief... see above.

Taken together, with little consideration of all things big and small from my perspective, one might view all this as nihilistic, sad, tragic... that I'm "lost". But I feel just the opposite. Much of my belief has been formulated for years before this digital missive but has sadly become more focused due to my recent circumstances. The only difference is looking back and thinking more about how much better I could have been, more loving, more passionate, more respectful, more active, more activist, more mindful, more..., more..., more... human.

Don't lecture me, don't openly pity me. Just hear me out. There's more to come. Next, context.